


A Wilderness Experience

by DPPatricks



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Dialog-only, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Some Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DPPatricks/pseuds/DPPatricks
Summary: A simple trek into the mountains turns more dangerous than either Starsky or Hutch expected.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	A Wilderness Experience

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published in the 2019 SHareCon 'zine.

“Hutch…”

“Shhh, go back to sleep.”

“But…”

“But, what, Starsk? It’s over and we’re okay.”

“Okay? My leg’s broken!”

“I know, but Tree set it beautifully and you’ll be fine, back on both feet in no time. Go to sleep. We’ll be out of these woods by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.”

“Some vacation, huh?”

“I’m sorry, buddy, you know I didn’t mean for this to be --”

“Hey! I’m only kidding. I wanted to come, too, remember?”

“After I twisted your arm half out of its socket, as I recall.”

“Well… I can’t give in to you too easily. You might begin to think I’m a wuss.”

“A what?”

“You know, a wimp. Whiner. Pussy.”

“Starsky, the only time I think you’re a pussy is when you’re purring underneath me and your nails are clawing my back.”

“Some pal you are! I’m lyin’ here in agony and you’re making me think about sex.”

“Aw, Geez, Starsk, I’m sorry. You didn’t say anything. I thought the potion Tree gave you took away the pain.”

“It did, I’m only yankin’ your chain, Hutch. Since you got me all stirred up with talk of purring and… being underneath you. I’m okay. Can’t hardly feel my leg, but that’s good, right? Tree said it’d be okay?”

“Yes, he did. And he really seemed to know what he was doing.”

“Okay, then. You’re not hurt and my leg’s going to heal up just fine.”

“Yep! So go back to sleep.”

“Hutch…”

“What, now, Starsk?”

“Did it really happen?”

“What are you talking about? You just said you’ve got a broken leg. Of course it happened.”

“Tree Whose Limbs Touch The Sky?”

“Yeah. Appropriate for him, don’t you think?”

“Smile In Her Eyes?”

“As beautiful a name as she is.”

“Runs With The Wind?”

“Doesn’t he just?”

“I didn’t see him doing any running.”

“That’s right, you’d passed out by that time. Sorry.”

“Hutch… they’re Bigfeet. Bigfoots.”

“Sasquatch.”

“They’re real? I didn’t fall off a cliff, break my leg, and dream them up in my delirium?”

“No, Starsk, you didn’t. We caught those four hooligans beating the crap out of the youngster and broke up the attack.”

“Yeah. Two came at you and you decked ‘em.”

“I was lucky and they were stupid. Their damn jaws were so hard, though, I’d have broken my knuckles if I hadn’t had my gloves on.”

“The other two jumped me…. But how did I break my leg?”

“One of them hit you low, around the ankle, while the other one tackled you and carried you over that log. Compound fracture, Starsk. It was ugly.”

“Stop talkin’ about it, okay? I’m startin’ to feel it.”

“Tree showed up right about then, apparently in response to sub-sonic calls Runs With The Wind had been making. We couldn’t hear them but Tree did. The four guys were crying for their mothers and screaming about assault at the same time while Tree gathered them up and shoved them in the cave they’d been plundering. Then he brought half the hillside down in front of the entrance. They’ll be there until the sheriff comes to dig them out.”

“How’s Tree going to explain that?”

“While you were still unconscious, after Tree set your leg and applied the poultices, several members of the local Chippewa tribe showed up. They’d been watching the four vandals for months as they blundered all through the Boundary Waters and their reservation. The bastards were evidently looking for proof that a Bigfoot lives here.”

“And they thought they’d found it in the cave?”

“That’s what the tribal elder said. Something about tracks in and out that were too big to be human, and hairs that weren’t from any animal pelt they’d ever seen caught on shrub thorns.”

“Shit!”

“Don’t worry. Tree and his family are used to things like this. And the tribe does its best to cover for them.”

“Why can’t people just leave them alone?”

“The elder said these four are known troublemakers. They’re from rich families in Duluth and think they can get away with anything. Their fathers’ lawyers always bail them out of any jam.”

“Lawyers!”

“Yeah, well, this time, the elder said he and the rest of his tribe would bring charges against the kids. They’ve taken video of their unauthorized trips onto tribal lands, and their destruction and theft of sacred objects.”

“The Indians have video cameras?”

“It’s the eighties, Starsk, video is readily available to anyone with a little disposable income.”

“But… but… Indians with video cameras? I’m havin’ a little trouble with that image, Hutch.”

“From what I was told, the tribe has made some very lucrative deals for small portions of the forests and iron ore on their lands. They’re far from poor.”

“Okay, I guess. Good for them!”

“Agreed.”

“But, Hutch… Can we press charges against the four idiots who took exception to our breaking up their fun with Wind?”

“The elder thinks what they’re going to tell the Sheriff’s Department about the desecration on their lands, plus the fact that the stolen artifacts have been found in a disreputable Duluth pawn shop, will be enough. The owner of the shop is willing to testify against the delinquents, so the elder feels the less said about us and Tree’s family, the better. If the kids want to babble about having found Bigfoot, let them deal with the disbelief and scorn.”

“You’re right. 

“Think you can sleep now?”

“Yeah, I guess so. But… how are we going to get out of here?”

“I’m going to walk, with some of our gear, and Tree’s going to carry you. He showed me a really ingenious cradle that won’t jostle your leg. Wind’ll bring the rest of our stuff.”

“And won’t that be fun when some hiker or camper spots us?”

“Tree knows these woods, Starsk. He’ll avoid anyone he doesn’t want to see us. And it’ll only be as far as the back road onto the reservation. The elder will meet us there with a pickup truck. He’ll take us the rest of the way into town and bring the sheriff back.”

“We’re two more vacationers who came to grief in the wilderness, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“And no mention of Tree and his family?”

“Only if you want to get laughed at, buddy.”

“Think Tree would give us his autograph before we leave? Just to have something to remember him by?”

“You’re going to have a perfectly healed leg, Starsk, with a nasty scar. Won’t that be enough?”

“You’re right. It will be.”

END


End file.
